雅思作文200分求修改 求长期合作

雅思作文200分求修改 求长期合作
universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.to what extent do you agree or disagree
作文
In contemporary society,the question of whether the similar proportion of male and female students should be accepted by universities has been the topic of a great deal of people.
I personally agree that feminism should not be demonstrated by this way in the university.Most of universities are unquestionable having the male students much more than female students.That just as the impartial and national result of the way in which universities basing on the students' performance in their whole three years to choice them.
"The male and female should be offered same opportunity to get education." said by people taking the opposite argument.Given that the population of male and female is even not equal in some countries,why that should be equal in the universities?It is a common sight that boys do a great job in subjects such as the math ,physics and chemistry,but girls trend to the literature.Hence,they choice different type of majors basing on what they prefer,rather than the percentage of boys and girls.
There also have been some special subjects which only admit either male or female students.Taking the soldiers as the example.They aim to be trained stronger so that execute tasks efficiently.While the natural talent decides that the male is more suitable than the female in such subjects.So,it just prepares for the male students.
In conclusion ,universities accept same numbers of male and female students in every subject make no sense ,if universities do this ,then it would be unfair to whatever male or female students
希望能够指出我哪里写错或写得不好并修改
不要重新写一遍 那样就不是我自己的文章了
最好能对我的作文做个整体的评价 我是Ｂtt 1年前他留下的回答 已收到3个回答

我永远叫小蝎 网友

该名网友总共回答了16个问题，此问答他的回答如下：采纳率：87.5%

题目
universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. to what extent do you agree or disagree ? 题目无误
作文
In contemporary society,the question of whether the similar proportion of male and female students should be accepted by universities has been the topic of a great deal of people.
I personally agree that feminism should not be demonstrated by (this way in the university 应改为 the universities in this way).Most of (去掉the) universities are unquestionable having the male students much more than female students that just as the impartial and national result of the way in which universities (are) basing on the students' performance in their whole three years to (choice 是 choose) them.

"The male and female should be offered (加 the) same opportunity to get education." (said by people taking the opposite argument应改为: said those who are taking the opposite views).Given that the population of male and female is (even not是 not even) equal in some countries, why (that should be equal in the universities改为 why should there be an equal number in the universities)? It is a common sight that boys do a great job in subjects such as the math(s),physics and chemistry, but girls (trend 是 tend) to (choose 或 prefer) the literature. Hence, they (choice是 choose) different type of majors basing on (what they prefer应改为: physical and characteristic difference between male and female), rather than the percentage of boys and girls.

There also have been some special subjects which only admit either male or female students
( for the above mentioned reasons). Taking the (soldiers改为 military course) as the example, they aim (to be trained stronger改为 at physically stronger beings) so that (加they could) execute tasks efficiently.While the natural talent decides that the male is more suitable than the female in such subjects. So, it just prepares for the male students.

In conclusion,universities accept same numbers of male and female students in every subject (make no sense或 would not make sense at all),if universities do this,then it would be unfair to whatever male or female students
尊重你的要求,我只顺序替你修改了错漏,或把句子换上更合适的表达法.原文仍然健在.

1年前他留下的回答

10

cnzsm 网友

该名网友总共回答了11个问题，此问答他的回答如下：

应该是Whether the community college should receive the same proportion of male and female students in a topic, and has been a big problem.
Personally, I agree that the University should accept female...

1年前他留下的回答

0

hahases88 网友

该名网友总共回答了12个问题，此问答他的回答如下：采纳率：91.7%

你少了这个关键词patriarchal。

1年前他留下的回答

0

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