雅思作文,希望大家能帮忙指正,感激感激

雅思作文,希望大家能帮忙指正,感激感激
题目：Children can learn efficiently by watching television.Should children watching television regular both in school and at home? Discuss agree or disagree?
Since the middle of 20 century, televison ,as a widespread leisure pattern,has become one of the absolutely necessary electroni products in every home in the world.It is noteworthy that some programs providing various knowledge in a medley of areas are beneits for public, especially for children, and it is my personal belief that watching television ragular ha positive impact on the mental developmeng of children.
Fist of all, leaning though TV is an efficient method.It is an indisputable fact that the programs,whith spelandid visual effect and exciting musics,are more temptable than the words on books,and the programs can grab young kids attention,owning to which, children will not feel tired of study.There, as well, is no debate that the update speed of textbooks will never catch up with the televison which places the lastest and most concerned information in the front of their eyes.Thus, all above can support the fact that it is necessary for children to watching TV ragular wherever they are.
Some oppenents hold the view that watching TV is hazaidous for eyes and may cause myopia.To addition, some children who are lack of self-control may indulge in the programs,as a result, the loss interesting in study but sitting in the front of TV sets.
To sum up, though theere are some demerits on watching TV, it is an extremely useful way for children to learn knowledge under the supervision and control by teachers and parents.I once again reaffirm that television is a benifitial tool for young kids to stydy by regularly watching both in school and at home.
大家不要客气请多多指教啊.
谢谢一楼的指正,希望大家能够评论一下结构内容有没有什么问题?谢谢阿~~ zky1999 1年前他留下的回答 已收到1个回答

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该名网友总共回答了20个问题，此问答他的回答如下：采纳率：85%

Children can learn efficiently by watching television.Should children watch television regularLY both in school and at home? Discuss agree or disagree?
Since the middle of 20 century, televison ,as a widespread leisure pattern,has become one of the absolutely necessary electroniC products in every hoUSE in the world.It is noteworthy that some programs providing various knowledge in a medley of areas are benFits THE public, especially THE children, and it is my personal belief that watching television ragularLY haS positive impact on the mental developmenT of children.
Fist of all, leaning though TV is an efficient method.It is an indisputable fact that the programs,with spelEndid visual effect and exciting music,are more temptable than the words on books,and the programs can grab young kids attention,owning to which, children will not feel tired of study.There, as well, is no debate that the update speed of textbooks will never catch up with the televison which places the lastest and most concerned information in front of their eyes.Thus, all above can support the fact that it is necessary for children to watch TV ragularLY wherever they are.
Some oppenents hold the view that watching TV is hazaidous for eyes and may cause myopia.To addition, some children who are lack of self-control may indulge THEMSELVES in the programs,as a result, the loss interest in study but sitting in front of TV sets.
To sum up, though there are some demerits on watching TV, it is an extremely useful way for children to learn knowledge under the supervision and control by teachers and parents.I once again reaffirm that television is a benifitial tool for young kids to stUdy by regularly watching both in school and at home.

1年前他留下的回答

8

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